When’s the last time you listened to yourself?

A couple of weeks ago I taught a workshop on communication skills, with particular emphasis on active listening. Last week some of the participants reported that they had practiced those skills, and they found a powerful difference in the depth of their conversations. I was enthralled with their stories, and as I listened it occurred to me: Why don’t we practice active listening with ourselves?

Think about it. When’s the last time you had a fruitful conversation with yourself – your inner voice, your God, your intuition? Sadly, many of us have become pretty skilled at ignoring our own voice. We don’t trust it. We’re afraid we won’t be able to do what it says, so we distract ourselves and don’t listen. Over time we become calloused and it becomes weaker and harder to hear.  Does that sound like you? Then maybe it’s time to give yourself some much needed attention and listening. For starters,

1. Get still. Get comfortable in a quiet place free of distractions. This is your time to get to know you better.
2. Pay attention. Turn your attention inward. Set aside distracting thoughts. Don’t fret over them, just let them know you’ll attend to them later. Ask what’s on your heart and listen to the response. Don’t argue or disagree. Sit without judgment, without thinking of a reply or a defense. Just listen.
3. Summarize. Repeat to yourself what you hear. Ask clarifying questions.
4. Be thankful. Thank yourself for the insight. Reflect on it for a moment, and as often as it comes up throughout the day.

It may take a while to get the hang of it. It requires some discipline, but it will be well worth your while to make this a regular practice. I encourage you to try it. Make room for it. Court it, nurture it, and practice actively listening to your still, small voice.