Another day in the sauna, sweating out the old toxins and taking in new meditations with the Lord.  Today in the spirit I saw myself stumble into the garden where the Lord was sitting.  “I can’t seem to walk straight,” I laughed.  “I’m walking like I’m drunk.”

“Yes, I noticed you were staggering like a drunkard.   Anything you want to tell me?”

“No, I’m not drunk.  Really.”

“I know,” he responded, “but the truth is, some people are only able to speak what’s on their heart, what’s close and dear to them, when they are drunk. If you like, we can have our conversation and you act as if you’re drunk.” the Lord said to me. “If you need that to get past your filters to speak what’s on your heart, I’m down with that.”

I considered the invitation for a moment.

“Or,” he continued, “I can help you lift those filters.”

I felt the tenderness of the Lord extended, knowing he would help me to reveal myself little by little, protecting me as I become comfortable with it.  He would not use shock treatment.  He wouldn’t rip open the shower curtain and leave me suddenly naked and exposed for all the world to see.  He would work with me, knowing my desire.  I want to be authentic – the same on the outside as on the inside; not hiding or covering any secrets; a what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind of girl.  Free. 

“Ok, let’s do it,” I told him.

To be continued . . .